Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
