I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
