you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
