id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
