On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
