He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
