chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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