you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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