Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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