M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
