Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Oh god it's open bar.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
