found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
