We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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