i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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