I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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