I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
