He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
