I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
