my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
