he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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