If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
