What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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