Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
