you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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