I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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