I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
