it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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