she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize