And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
