Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
