she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Just pee around me
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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