Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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