Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
