Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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