We won't sleep together?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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