she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
