Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
