Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
