You're so nebulous sometimes
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
