I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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