For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Panties = found
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
