There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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