Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
