Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
