dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
