ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
