I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
