uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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