worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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