who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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