I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
