his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
