did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Randomize
