I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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