How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
