Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
