Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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