She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
i black out too much to be "responsible"
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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