Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
