can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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