I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
