It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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