please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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