Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
